The Jonathan Edwards Center at Yale University

The Narrative of Sarah Pierpont Edwards The Narrative of Sarah Pierpont Edwards edited Sarah Pierpont Edwards

The Narrative of Sarah Pierpont Edwards

No MS, except for a small fragment in ANTS. Printed in Dwight ed., 1:171-186.

"On Tuesday night, Jan. 19, 1742," observes Mrs. Edwards,

"I felt very uneasy and unhappy, at my being so low in grace. I

thought I very much needed help from God, and found a spirit of

earnestness to seek help of him, that I might have more holiness.

When I had for a time been earnestly wrestling with God for it, I

felt within myself great quietness of spirit, unusual submission to

God, and willingness to wait upon him, with respect to the time and

manner in which he should help me, and wished that he should

take his own time, and his own way, to do it.

The next morning, I found a degree of uneasiness in my mind,

at Mr. Edwards’s suggesting, that he thought I had failed in some [172]

measure in point of prudence, in some conversation I had with Mr.

Williams of Hadley"[Rev. Chester Williams (1718-1753), pastor of Hadley from 1741-1753.]", the day before. I found, that it seemed to be-

reave me of the quietness and calm of my mind, in any respect

not to have the good opinion of my husband. This, I much dis-

liked in myself, as arguing a want of a sufficient rest in God, and

felt a disposition to fight. against it, and look to God for his help, that

I might have a more full and entire rest in him, independent of all

other things. I continued in this frame, from early in the morning

until about 10 o’clock, at which time the Rev. Mr. Reynolds"[Rev. Peter Reynolds (1700-1768), pastor of Enfield from 1724-1768.]" went

to prayer in the family.

"I had before this, so entirely given myself up to God, and re-

signed up every thing into his hands, that I had, for a long time,

felt myself quite alone in the world ; so that the peace and calm

of my mind, and my rest in God, as my only and all sufficient hap-

piness, seemed sensibly above the reach of disturbance from any

thing but these two: 1st. My own good name and fair reputation

among men, and especially the esteem and just treatment of the

people of this town ; 2dly. And more especially, the esteem, and

love and kind treatment of my husband. At times, indeed, I had

seemed to be considerably elevated above the influence of even

these things ; yet I had not found my calm, and peace and rest in

God so sensibly, fully and constantly, above the reach of disturb-

ance from them, until now.

"While Mr. Reynolds was at prayer in the family this morning,

I felt an earnest desire that, in calling on God, he should say, Fa-

ther, or that he should address the Almighty under that appellation:

on which the thought turned in my mind-Why can I say, Father?

-Can I now at this time, with the confidence of a child, and with-

out the least misgiving of heart, call God my Father?-This

brought to my mind, two lines of Mr. Erskine’s Sonnet:

"I see him lay his vengeance by,

"And smile in Jesus’ face."

"I was thus deeply sensible, that my sins did loudly call for

vengeance ; but I then by faith saw God "lay his vengeance by,

and smile in Jesus’ face." It appeared to be real and certain that

he did so. I had not the least doubt, that he then sweetly smiled

upon me, with the look of forgiveness and love, having laid aside

all his displeasure towards me, for Jesus’ sake ; which made me

feel very weak, and somewhat faint.

"In consequence of this, I felt a strong desire to be alone with

God, to go to him, without having any one to interrupt the silent

and soft communion, which I earnestly desired between God and

my own soul ; and accordingly withdrew to my chamber. It should

have been mentioned that, before I retired, while Mr. Reynolds

was praying, these words, in Rom. viii. 34, came into my mind

"Who is he that condemneth ; It is Christ that died, yea rather

that is risen again, who is even at the right hand of God, who also [173]

maketh intercession for us ;" as well as the following words, "Who

shall separate us from the love of Christ," etc. ; which occasioned

great sweetness and delight in my soul. But when I was alone,

the words came to mind with far greater power and sweetness ;

upon which I took the Bible, and read the words to the end of the

chapter, when they were impressed on my heart with vastly great-

er power and sweetness still. They appeared to me with undoubt-

ed certainty as the words of God, and as words which God did

pronounce concerning me. I had no more doubt of it, than I had

of my being. I seemed as it were to hear the great God proclaim-

ing thus to the world concerning me ; "Who shall lay any thing

to thy charge," etc. ; and had it strongly impressed on me, how

impossible it was for any thing in heaven or earth, in this world or

the future, ever to separate me from the love of God which was in

Christ Jesus. I cannot find language to express, how certain this

appeared-the everlasting mountains and hills were but shadows to

it. My safety, and happiness, and eternal enjoyment of God’s im-

mutable love, seemed as durable and unchangeable as God him-

self. Melted and overcome by the sweetness of this assurance, I

fell into a great flow of tears, and could not forbear weeping aloud.

It appeared certain to me that God was my Father, and Christ my

Lord and Saviour, that he was mine and I his. Under a delight-

ful sense of the immediate presence and love of God, these words

seemed to come over and over in my mind, "My God, my all ;

my God, my all." The presence of God was so near, and so real,

that I seemed scarcely conscious of any things else. God the Fa-

ther, and the Lord Jesus Christ, seemed as distinct persons, both

manifesting their inconceivable loveliness, and mildness, and gen-

tleness, and their great and immutable love to me. I seemed to

be taken under the care and charge of my God and Saviour, in an

inexpressibly endearing manner ; and Christ appeared to me as a

mighty Saviour, under the character of the Lion of the Tribe of

Judah, taking my heart, with all its corruptions, under his care,

and putting it at his feet. In all things, which concerned me, I

felt myself safe under the protection of the Father and the Sav-

iour; who appeared with supreme kindness to keep a record of ev-

ery thing that I did, and of every thing that was done to me, pure-

ly for my good.

"The peace and happiness, which I hereupon felt, was altogeth-

er inexpressible. It seemed to be that which came from hea-

ven; to be eternal and unchangeable. I seemed to be lifted above

earth and hell, out of the reach of every thing here below, so that I

could look on all the rage and enmity of men or devils, with a kind

of holy indifference, and an undisturbed tranquility. At the same

time, I felt compassion and love for all mankind, and a deep abase-

ment of soul, under a sense of my own unworthiness. I thought

of the ministers who were in the house, and felt willing to undergo [174]

any labour and self-denial, if they would but come to the help of

the Lord. I also felt myself more perfectly weaned from all things

here below, than ever before. The whole world, with all its en-

joyments, and all its troubles, seemed to be nothing:-My God was

my all, my only portion. No possible suffering appeared to be

worth regarding: all persecutions and torments were a mere no-

thing. I seemed to dwell on high, and the place of defence to be

the munition of rocks.

"After some time, the two evils mentioned above, as those

which I should have been least able to bear, came to my mind-

the ill treatment of the town, and the ill will of my husband ; but

now I was carried exceedingly above even such things as these,

and I could feel that, if I were exposed to them both, they would

seem comparatively nothing. There was then a deep snow on the

ground, and I could think of being driven from my home into the

cold and snow, of being chased from the town with the utmost con-

tempt and malice, and of being left to perish with the cold, as cast

out by all the world, with perfect calmness and serenity. It ap-

peared to me, that it would not move me, or in the least disturb the

inexpressible happiness and peace of my soul. My mind seemed

as much above all such things, as the sun is above the earth.

"I continued in a very sweet and lively sense of divine things,

day and night, sleeping and waking, until Saturday, Jan. 23. On

Saturday morning, I had a most solemn and deep impression on my

mind of the eye of God as fixed upon me, to observe what im-

provement I made of those spiritual communications I had received

from him ; as well as of the respect shown Mr. Edwards, who had

then been sent for to preach at Leicester. I was sensible that I

was sinful enough to bestow it on my pride, or on my sloth, which

seemed exceedingly dreadful to me. At night, my soul seemed to

be filled with an inexpressibly sweet and pure love to God, and to

the children of God ; with a refreshing consolation and solace of

soul, which made me willing to lie on the earth, at the feet of the

servants of God, to declare his gracious dealings with me, and

breathe forth before them my love, and gratitude and praise.

"The next day, which was the Sabbath, I enjoyed a sweet, and

lively and assured sense of God's infinite grace, and favour and

love to me, in taking me out of the depths of hell, and exalting me

to the heavenly glory, and the dignity of a royal priesthood.

"On Monday night, Mr. Edwards, being gone that day to Lei-

cester, I heard that Mr. Buell was coming to this town, and from

what I had heard of him, and of his success, I had strong hopes

that there would be great effects from his labours here. At the

same time, I had a deep and affecting impression, that the eye of

God was ever upon my heart, and that it greatly concerned me

to watch my heart, and see to it that I was perfectly resign-

ed to God, with respect to the instruments he should make use [175]

of to revive religion in this town, and be entirely willing, if it was

God's pleasure, that he should make use of Mr. Buel ; and also

that other christians should appear to excel me in christian experi-

ence, and in the benefit they should derive from ministers. I was

conscious, that it would be exceedingly provoking to God if I

should not be thus resigned, and earnestly endeavoured to watch

my heart, that no feelings of a contrary nature might arise ; and

was enabled, as I thought, to exercise full resignation, and acquies-

cence in God's pleasure, as to these things. I was sensible what

great cause I had to bless God, for the use he had made of Mr.

Edwards hitherto ; but thought, if he never blessed his labours

any more, and should greatly bless the labours of other ministers,

I could entirely acquiesce in his will. It appeared to me meet

and proper, that God should employ babes and sucklings to ad-

vance his kingdom. When I thought of these things, it was my

instinctive feeling to say, "Amen, Lord Jesus! Amen, Lord Je-

sus!" This seemed to be the sweet and instinctive language of

my soul.

"On Tuesday, I remained in a sweet and lively exercise of this

resignation, and love to and rest in God, seeming to be in my heart

from day to day, far above the reach of every thing here below.

On Tuesday night, especially the latter part of it, I felt a great

earnestness of soul and engagedness in seeking God for the town,

that religion might now revive, and that God would bless Mr.

Buell to that end. God seemed to be very near to me while I was

thus striving with him for these things, and I had a strong hope

that what I sought of him would be granted. There seemed na-

turally and unavoidably to arise in my mind an assurance, that now

God would do great things for Northampton.

"On Wednesday morning, I heard that Mr. Buell arrived the

night before at Mr. Phelps's, and that there seemed to be great

tokens and effects of the presence of God there, which greatly en-

couraged, and rejoiced me. About an hour and a half after, Mr.

Buell came to our house, I sat still in entire resignedness to God,

and willingness that God should bless his labours her as much as

he pleased ; though it were to the enlivening of every saint, and

to the conversion of every sinner, in the town. These feelings

continued afterwards, when I saw his great success ; as I never felt

the least rising of heart to the contrary, but my submission was

even and uniform, without interruption or disturbance. I rejoiced

when I saw the honour which God put upon him, and the respect

paid him by the people, and the greater success attending his

preaching, than had followed the preaching of Mr. Edwards imme-

diately before he went to Leicester. I found rest and rejoicing in

it, and the sweet language of my soul continually was, "Amen,

Lord Jesus! Amen, Lord Jesus!"

"At 3 o'clock in the afternoon, a lecture was preached by Mr. [176]

Buell. In the latter part of the sermon, one or two appeared

much moved, and after the blessing, when the people were going

out, several others. To my mind there was the clearest evidence,

that God was present in the congregation, on the work of redeem-

ing love ; and in the clear view of this, I was all at once filled with

such intense admiration of the wonderful condescension and grace

of God, in returning again to Northampton, as overwhelmed my

soul, and immediately took away my bodily strength. This was

accompanied with an earnest longing, that those of us, who were

the children of God, might now arise and strive. It appeared to

me, that the angels in heaven sung praises, for such wonderful, free

and sovereign grace, and my heart was lifted up in adoration and

praise. I continued to have clear views of the future world, of

eternal happiness and misery, and my heart full of love to the souls

of men. On seeing some, that I found were in a natural condi-

tion, I felt a most tender compassion for them ; but especially was

I, while I remained in the meeting-house, from time to time over-

come, and my strength taken away, by the sight of one and ano-

ther, whom I regarded as the children of God, and who, I had

heard were lively and animated in religion. We remained in the

meeting-house about three hours, after the public exercises were

over. During most of the time, my bodily strength was overcome ;

and the joy and thankfulness, which were excited in my mind, as I

contemplated the great goodness of God, led me to converse with

those who were near me, in a very earnest manner.

"When I came home, I found Mr. Buell, Mr. Christophers, Mr.

Hopkins, Mrs. Eleanor Dwight, the wife of Mr. Joseph Allen, and

Mr. Job Strong"[Mr. Christophers not further identified; Samuel Hopkins, then a student studying with JE; Elinor Dwight (b. 1717), d. of Timothy and Experience Dwight; poss. Elizabeth (Parsons) Allen (1717-1800), m. 1733, midwife; Job Strong (1721-1751), another student of JE's, later pastor of Portsmouth, N.H.]", at the house, Seeing and conversing with them

on the Divine goodness, renewed my former feelings, and filled

me with an intense desire that we might all arise, and, with an ac-

tive, flowing and fervent heart, give glory to God. The intense-

ness of my feelings again took away my bodily strength. The

words of one of Dr. Watts's Hosannas powerfully affected me ;

and, in the course of the conversation, I uttered them, as the real

language of my heart, with great earnestness and emotion.

"Hosanna to King David's Son,

"Who reigns on a superior throne," &c.

And while I was uttering the words, my mind was so deeply im-

pressed with the love of Christ, and a sense of his immediate pre-

sence, that I could with difficulty refrain from rising from my seat,

and leaping for joy. I continued to enjoy this intense, and lively

and refreshing sense of Divine things, accompanied with strong

emotions, for nearly an hour ; after which, I experienced a de-

lightful calm, and peace and rest in God, until I retired for the

night ; and during the night, both waking and sleeping, I had joyful

views of Divine things, and a complacential rest of soul in God. I

awoke in the morning of Thursday, June"[I.e. Jan.]" 28th, in the same happy [177]

frame of mind, and engaged in the duties of my family with a sweet

consciousness, that God was present with me, and with earnest

longings of soul for the continuance, and increase, of the blessed

fruits of the Holy Spirit in the town. About nine o'clock, these

desires became so exceedingly intense, when I saw numbers of the

people coming into the house, with an appearance of deep interest

in religion, that my bodily strength was much weakened, and it was

with difficulty that I could pursue my ordinary avocations. About

11 o'clock, as I accidentally went into the room where Mr. Buell

was conversing with some of the people, I heard him say, "O that

we, who are the children of God, should be cold and lifeless in re-

ligion!" and I felt such a sense of the deep ingratitude manifested

by the children of God, in such coldness and deadness, that my

strength was immediately taken away, and I sunk down on the spot.

Those who were near raised me, and placed me in a chair ; and,

from the fulness of my heart, I expressed to them, in a very ear-

nest manner, the deep sense I had of the wonderful grace of Christ

towards me, of the assurance I had of his having saved me from

hell, of my happiness running parallel with eternity, of the duty of

giving up all to God, and of the peace and joy inspired by an en-

tire dependence on his mercy and grace. Mr. Buell then read a

melting hymn of Dr. Watts"Probably the 91st Hymn of the 2d Book, beginning with "O the delights, the heavenly joys, "The glories of the place…”", concerning the loveliness of Christ,

the enjoyments and employments of heaven, and the christian's

earnest desire of heavenly things ; and the truth and reality of the

things mentioned in the hymn, made so strong an impression on

my mind, and my soul was drawn so powerfully towards Christ

and heaven, that I leaped unconsciously from my chair. I seemed

to be drawn upwards, soul and body, from the earth towards hea-

ven ; and it appeared to me that I must naturally and necessarily

ascend thither. These feelings continued while the hymn was

reading, and during the prayer of Mr. Christophers, which follow-

ed. After the prayer, Mr. Buell read two other hymns, on the

glories of heaven, which moved me so exceedingly, and drew me

so strongly heavenwards, that it seemed as it were to draw my bo-

dy upwards, and I felt as if I must necessarily ascend thither. At

length my strength failed me, and I sunk down ; when they took

me up and laid me on the bed, where I lay for a considerable time,

faint with joy, whole contemplating the glories of the heavenly

world. After I had lain a while, I felt more perfectly subdued

and weaned from the world, and more fully resigned to God, than

I had ever been conscious of before. I felt an entire indifference

to the opinions, and representations and conduct of mankind res-

pecting me ; and a perfect willingness, that God should employ [178]

some other instrument than Mr. Edwards, in advancing the work

of grace in Northampton. I was entirely swallowed up in God, as

my only portion, and his honour and glory was the object of my

supreme desire and delight. At the same time, I felt a far great-

er love to the children of God, than ever before. I seemed to love

them as my own soul ; and when I saw them, my heart went out

towards them, with an inexpressible endearedness and sweetness.

I beheld them by faith in their risen and glorified state, with spir-

itual bodies re-fashioned after the image of Christ's glorified body,

and arrayed in the beauty of heaven. The time when they would

be so, appeared very near, and by faith it seemed as if it were

present. This was accompanied with a ravishing sense of the un-

speakable joys of the upper world. They appeared to my mind

in all their reality and certainty, and as it were in actual and dis-

tinct vision ; so plain and evident were they to the eye of my faith,

I seemed to regard them as begun. These anticipations were re-

newed over and over, while I lay on the bed, from twelve o'clock

till four, being too much exhausted by emotions of joy, to rise and

sit up ; and during most of the time, my feelings prompted me to con-

verse very earnestly, with one and another of the pious women,

who were present, on those spiritual and heavenly objects, of which

I had so deep an impression. A little while before I arose, Mr.

Buell and the people went to meeting.

"I continued in a sweet and lively sense of Divine things, until

I retired to rest. That night, which was Thursday night, Jan. 28,

was the sweetest night I ever had in my life. I never before, for

so long a time together, enjoyed so much of the light, and rest and

sweetness of heaven in my soul, but without the least agitation of

body during the whole time. The great part of the night I lay a-

wake, sometimes asleep, and sometimes between sleeping and wak-

ing. But all night I continued in a constant, clear and lively sense

of the heavenly sweetness of Christ's excellent and transcendent

love, of his nearness to me, and of my dearness to him ; with an

inexpressibly sweet calmness of soul in an entire rest in him. I

seemed to myself to perceive a glow of divine love come down

from the heart of Christ in heaven, into my heart, in a constant

stream, like a stream or pencil of sweet light. At the same time,

my heart and soul all flowed out in love to Christ ; so that there

seemed to be a constant flowing and reflowing of heavenly and di-

vine love, from Christ's heart to mine ; and I appeared to myself

to float or swim, in these bright, sweet beams of the love of Christ,

like the motes swimming in the beams of the sun, or the streams of

his light which come in at the window. My soul remained in a

kind of heavenly elysium. So far as I am capable of making a

comparison, I think that what I felt each minute, during the con-

tinuance of the whole time, was worth more than all the outward

comfort and pleasure, which I had enjoyed in my whole life put to-[179]

gether. It was a pure delight, which fed and satisfied the soul. It

was pleasure, without the least sting, or any interruption. It was a

sweetness, which my soul was lost in. It seemed to be all that my

feeble frame could sustain, of that fulness of joy, which is felt by

those, who behold the face of Christ, and share his love in the

heavenly world. There was but little difference, whether I was

asleep or awake, so deep was the impression made on my soul ;

but if there was any difference, the sweetness was greatest and most

uninterrupted, while I was asleep.

"As I awoke early the next morning, which was Friday, I was

led to think of Mr. Williams of Hadley preaching that day in the

town, as had been appointed ; and to examine my heart, whether I

was willing that he, who was a neighbouring minister, should be

extraordinarily blessed, and made a greater instrument of good in

the town, than Mr. Edwards ; and was enabled to say, with res-

pect to that matter, "Amen, Lord Jesus!" and to be entirely wil-

ling, if God pleased, that he should be the instrument of converting

every soul in the town. My soul acquiesced fully in the will of

God, as to the instrument, if his work of renewing grace did but

go on.

"This lively sense of the beauty and excellency of divine things,

continued during the morning, accompanied with peculiar sweet-

ness and delight. To my own imagination, my soul seemed to be

gone out of me to God and Christ in heaven, and to have very lit-

tle relation to my body. God and Christ were so present to me,

and so near me, that I seemed removed from myself. The spir-

itual beauty of the Father and the Saviour, seemed to engross my

whole mind ; and it was the instinctive feeling of my heart, "Thou

art ; and there is none beside thee." I never felt such an entire

emptiness of self-love, or any regard to any private, selfish interest

of my own. It seemed to me, that I had entirely done with my-

self. I felt that the opinions of the world concerning me were no-

thing, and that I had no more to do with any outward interest of

my own, than with that of a person whom I never saw. The glo-

ry of God seemed to be all, and in all, and to swallow up every

wish and desire of my heart.

"Mr. Sheldon "[Possibly Capt. Benjamin Sheldon (b. 1697), later a captain of the Northampton militia during the French & Indian War; see Trumbull, History of Northampton, 2, 233.]" came into the house about 10 o'clock, and said

to me as he came in, "The Sun of righteousness arose on my soul

this morning, before day ;" upon which I said to him in reply,

"That Sun has not set upon my soul all this night ; I have dwelt on

high in the heavenly mansions ; the light of divine love has sur-

rounded me ; my soul has been lost in God, and has almost left

the body." This conversation only served to give me a still live-

lier sense of the reality and excellence of divine things, and that to

such a degree, as again to take away my strength, and occasion

great agitation of body. So strong were my feelings, I could not

refrain from conversing with those around me, in a very earnest [180]

manner, for about a quarter of an hour, on the infinite riches of

divine love in the work of salvation: when, my strength entirely

failing, my flesh grew very cold, and they carried me and set me

by the fire. As I sat there, I had a most affecting sense of the

mighty power of Christ, which had been exerted in what he had

done for my soul, and in sustaining and keeping down the native

corruptions of my heart, and of the glorious and wonderful grace

of God in causing the ark to return to Northampton. So intense

were my feelings, when speaking of these things, that I could not

forbear rising up and leaping with joy and exultation. I felt at the

same time an exceedingly strong and tender affection for the chil-

dren of God, and realized, in a manner exceedingly sweet and

ravishing, the meaning of Christ's prayer, in John xvii. 21, "That

they all may be one, as thou Father art in me, and I in thee, that

they also may be one in us." This union appeared to me an in-

conceivable, excellent and sweet oneness ; and at the same time I

felt that oneness in my soul, with the children of God who were

present. Mr. Christophers then read the hymn out of the Peni-

tential Cries, beginning with

"My soul doth magnify the Lord,

"My spirit doth rejoice ;"

The whole hymn was deeply affecting to my feelings: but when

these words were read,

"My sighs at length are turn'd to songs,

"The Comforter is come:"-

So conscious was I of the joyful presence of the holy Spirit, I could

scarcely refrain from leaping with transports of joy. This happy frame

of mind continued until two o'clock, when Mr. Williams came in,

and we soon went to meeting. He preached on the subject of the

assurance of faith. The whole sermon was affecting to me, but

especially when he came to show the way in which assurance was

obtained, and to point out its happy fruits. When I heard him

say, that those, who have assurance, have a foretaste of heavenly

glory, I knew the truth of it from what I then felt: I knew that I

then tasted the clusters of the heavenly Canaan: My soul was filled

and overwhelmed with light, and love, and joy in the Holy Ghost,

and seemed just ready to go away from the body. I could scarce-

ly refrain from expressing my joy aloud, in the midst of the ser-

vice. I had in the mean time, an overwhelming sense of the glory

of God, as the Great Eternal All, and of the happiness of having

my own will entirely subdued to his will. I knew that the fore-

taste of glory, which I then had in my soul, came from him, that I

certainly should go to him, and should, as it were, drop into the

Divine Being, and be swallowed up in God.

"After meeting was done, the congregation waited while Mr. [181]

Buell went home, to prepare to give them a Lecture. It was al-

most dark before he came, and, in the mean time, I conversed in

a very earnest and joyful manner, with those who were with me in

the pew. My mind dwelt on the thought, that the Lord God Om-

nipotent reigneth, and it appeared to me that he was going to set

up a Reign of Love on the earth, and that heaven and earth were,

as it were, coming together ; which so exceedingly moved me that

I could not forbear expressing aloud, to those near me, my exulta-

tion of soul. This subsided into a heavenly calm, and a rest of

soul in God, which was even sweeter than what preceded it. Af-

terwards, Mr. Buell came and preached ; and the same happy

frame of mind continued during the evening, and night, and the

next day. In the forenoon, I was thinking of the manner in which

the children of God had been treated in the world-particularly of

their being shut up in prison-and the folly of such attempts to

make them miserable, seemed to surprise me. It appeared aston-

ishing, that men should think, by this means, to injure those who

had such a kingdom within them. Towards night, being informed

that Mrs. P- had expressed her fears least I should die before

Mr. Edwards' return, and he should think the people had killed

his wife ; I told those who were present, that I chose to die in the

way that was most agreeable to God's will, and that I should be

willing to die in darkness and horror, if it was most for the glory of

God.

"In the evening, I read those chapters in John, which contain

Christ's dying discourse with his disciples, and his prayer with

them. After I had done reading, and was in my retirement, a

little before bed-time, thinking on what I had read, my soul was so

filled with love to Christ, and love to his people, that I fainted

under the intenseness of the feeling. I felt, while reading, a de-

lightful acquiescence in the petition to the Father-"I pray not

that thou shouldst take them out of the world, but that thou shouldst

keep them from the evil." Though it seemed to me infinitely bet-

ter to die to go to Christ, yet I felt an entire willingness to continue

in this world so long as God pleased, to do and suffer what he

would have me.

"After retiring to rest and sleeping a little while, I awoke and

had a very lively consciousness of God's being near me. I had an

idea of a shining way, or path of light, between heaven and my

soul, somewhat as on Thursday night, except that God seemed

nearer to me, and as it were close by, and the way seemed more

open, and the communication more immediate and more free. I

lay awake most of the night, with a constant delightful sense of

God's great love and infinite condescension, and with a continual

view of God as near, and as my God. My soul remained, as on

Thursday night, in a kind of heavenly elysium. Whether waking

or sleeping, there was no interruption, throughout the night, to the [182]

views of my soul, to its heavenly light, and divine, inexpressible

sweetness. It was without any agitation or motion of the body.

I was led to reflect on God's mercy to me, in giving me, for many

years, a willingness to die ; and after that, for more than two years

past, in making me willing to live, that I might do and suffer what-

ever he called me to here ; whereas, before that, I often used to

feel impatient at the thought of living. This then appeared to me,

as it had often done before, what gave me much the greatest sense

of thankfulness to God. I also thought how God had graciously

given me, for a great while, an entire resignation to his will, with

respect to the kind and manner of death that I should die ; having

been made willing to die on the rack, or at the stake, or any other

tormenting death, and, if it were God's will, to die in darkness:

and how I had that day been made very sensible and fully willing,

if it was God's pleasure and for his glory, to die in horror. But

now it occurred to me, that when I had thus been made willing to

live, and to be kept on this dark abode, I used to think of living no

longer than to the ordinary age of man. Upon this I was led to

ask myself, Whether I was not willing to be kept out of heaven

even longer ; and my whole heart seemed immediately to reply,

"Yes, a thousand years, if it be God's will, and for his honour and

glory:" and then my heart, in the language of resignation, went

further, and with great alacrity and sweetness, to answer as it were

over and over again, "Yes, and live a thousand years in horror, if

it be most for the glory of God: yea, I am willing to live a thou-

sand year an hell upon earth, if it be most for the honour of God."

But then I considered with myself, What this would be, to live an

hell upon earth, for so long a time ; and I thought of the torment

of my body being so great, awful and overwhelming, that none

could bear to live in the country where the spectacle was seen,

and of the torment and horror of my mind being vastly greater

than the torment of my body ; and it seemed to me that I found a

perfect willingness, and sweet quietness and alacrity of soul, in

consenting that it should be so, if it were most for the glory of God ;

so that there was no hesitation, doubt or darkness in my mind, at-

tending the thoughts of it, but my resignation seemed to be clear,

like a light that shone through my soul. I continued saying, "A-

men, Lord Jesus! Amen, Lord Jesus! glorify thyself in me, in my

body and my soul,"-with a calm and sweetness of soul, which

banished all reluctance. The glory of God seemed to overcome

me and swallow me up, and every conceivable suffering, and every

thing that was terrible to my nature, seemed to shrink to nothing be-

fore it. This resignation continued in its clearness and brightness the

rest of the night, and all the next day, and the night following, and on

Monday in the forenoon, without interruption or abatement. All

this while, whenever I thought of it, the language of my soul was,

with the greatest fullness and alacrity, "Amen, Lord Jesus! A-[183]

men, Lord Jesus!" In the afternoon of Monday, it was not quite

so perceptible and lively, but my mind remained so much in a simi-

lar frame, for more than a week, that I could never think of it

without an inexpressible sweetness in my soul.

"After I had felt this resignation on Saturday night, for some

time as I lay in bed, I felt such a disposition to rejoice in God, that

I wished to have the world join me in praising him ; and was ready

to wonder how the world of mankind could lie and sleep, when

there was such a God to praise, and rejoice in, and could scarcely

forbear calling out to those who were asleep in the house, to arise,

and rejoice, and praise God. When I arose in the morning of the

Sabbath, I felt a love to all mankind, wholly peculiar in its strength

and sweemess"[Probably "sweetness."]", far beyond all that I had ever felt before. The

power of that love seemed to be inexpressible. I thought, if I were

surrounded by enemies, who were venting their malice and cruelty

upon me, in tormenting me, it would still be impossible that I should

cherish any feelings towards them but those of love, and pity and

ardent desires for their happiness. At the same time I thought, if

I were cast off by my nearest and dearest friends, and if the feel-

ings and conduct of my husband were to be changed from tender-

ness and affection, to extreme hatred and cruelty, and that every

day, I could so rest in God, that it would not touch my heart, or

diminish my happiness. I could still go on with alacrity in the

performance of every act of duty, and my happiness remain undi-

minished and entire"[See the transcript, below, of the fragment of Sarah Edwards' narrative, in JE's hand, corresponding to the foregoing passage (MS, ANT).".

"I never before felt so far from a disposition to judge and cen-

sure others, with respect to the state of their hearts, their sincerity,

or their attainments in holiness, as I did that morning. To do this,

seemed abhorrent to every feeling of my heart. I realized also,

in an unusual and very lively manner, how great a part of chris-

tianity lies in the performance of our social and relative duties

to one another. The same lively and joyful sense of spiritual and

divine things continued throughout the day-a sweet love to God

and all mankind, and such an entire rest of soul in God, that it

seemed as if nothing that could be said of me, or done to me, could

touch my heart, or disturb my enjoyment. The road between

heaven and my soul seemed open and wide, all the day long ; and

the consciousness I had of the reality and excellence of heavenly

things was so clear, and the affections they excited so intense, that

it overcame my strength, and kept my body weak and faint, the

great part of the day, so that I could not stand or go without help.

The night also was comforting and refreshing.

"This delightful frame of mind was continued on Monday.

About noon, one of the neighbours, who was conversing with me,

expressed himself thus, "One smile from Christ is worth a thou-

sand million pounds," and the words affected me exceedingly, and

in a manner which I cannot express. I had a strong sense of the

infinite worth of Christ's approbation and love, and at the same

time of the grossness of the comparison ; and it only astonished

me, that any one could compare a smile of Christ to any earthly

treasure.-Towards night, I had a deep sense of the awful great-

ness of God, and felt with what humility and reverence we ought

to behave ourselves before him. Just then, Mr. W- came in,

and spoke with a somewhat light, smiling air, of the flourishing state

of religion in the town ; which I could scarcely bear to see. It

seemed to me, that we ought greatly to revere the presence of God,

and to behave ourselves with the utmost solemnity and humility,

when so great and holy a God was so remarkably present, and to

rejoice before him with trembling.-In the evening, these words,

in the Penitential Cries,-"The Comforter is come!"-were

accompanied to my soul with such conscious certainty, and such

intense joy, that immediately it took away my strength, and I was

falling to the floor ; when some of those who were near me caught

me and held me up. And when I repeated the words to the by-stand-

ers, the strength of my feelings was increased. The name-"The

Comforter"-seemed to denote that the Holy Spirit was the only

and infinite Fountain of comfort and joy, and this seemed real and

certain to my mind. These words-"The Comforter"-seem-

ed as it were immensely great, enough to fill heaven and earth.

"On Tuesday after dinner, Mr. Buell, as he sat at table, began

to discourse about the glories of the upper world ; which greatly af-

fected me, so as to take away my strength. The views and feelings

of the preceding evening, respecting the Great Comforter, were re-

newed in the most lively and joyful manner ; so that my limbs

grew cold, and I continued to a considerable degree overcome for

about an hour, earnestly expressing to those around me, my deep

and joyful sense of the presence and divine excellence of the Com-

forter, and of the glories of heaven.

"It was either on Tuesday, or Wednesday, that Mr. W-

came to the house, and informed what account Mr. Lyman"[Possibly Benjamin Lyman (1703-1762); see Trumbull, History of Northampton, 2, 233.]", who

was just then come from Leicester, on his way from Boston, gave

of Mr. Edwards' success, in making peace and promoting religion

at Leicester. The intelligence inspired me with such an admiring

sense of the great goodness of God, in using Mr. Edwards as the

instrument of doing good, and promoting the work of salvation, that

it immediately overcame me, and took away my strength, so that I

could no longer stand on my feet. On Wednesday night, Mr.

Clark, coming in with Mr. Buell and some of the people, asked

me how I felt. I told him that I did not feel at all times alike,

but this I thought I could say, that I had given up all to God, and

there is nothing like it, nothing like giving up all to him, esteem-

ing all to be his, and resigning all at his call. I told him that, ma-

ny a time within a twelvemonth, I had asked myself when I lay

down, How I should feel, if our house and all our property in it [185]

should be burnt up, and we should that night be turned out naked ;

whether I could cheerfully resign all to God ; and whether I so

saw that all was his, that I could fully consent to his will, in being

deprived of it? and that I found, so far as I could judge, an entire

resignation to his will, and felt that, if he should thus strip me of

every thing, I had nothing to say, but should, I thought, have an

entire calm and rest in God, for it was his own, and not mine.

After this, Mr. Phelps gave us an account of his own feelings, dur-

ing a journey from which he had just returned ; and then Mr. Pom-

eroy broke forth in the language of joy, and thankfulness and

praise, and continued speaking to us nearly an hour, leading us all

the time to rejoice in the visible presence of God, and to adore his

infinite goodness and condescension. He concluded by saying, "I

would say more, if I could ; but words were not made to express

these things." This reminded me of the words of Mrs. Rowe:

"More I would speak, but all my words are faint:

"Celestial Love, what eloquence can paint?

"No more, by mortal words, can be expressed;

"But vast Eternity shall tell the rest;"

and my former impressions of heavenly and divine things were re-

newed with so much power, and life and joy, that my strength all

failed me, and I remained for some time faint and exhausted. Af-

ter the people had retired, I had a still more lively and joyful sense

of the goodness and all-sufficiency of God, of the pleasure of lov-

ing him, and of being alive and active in his service, so that, I

could not sit still, but walked the room for some time, in a kind of

transport. The contemplation was so refreshing and delightful, so

much like a heavenly feast within the soul, that I felt an absolute

indifference as to any external circumstances ; and, according to

my best remembrance, this enlivening of my spirit continued so,

that I slept but little that night.

"The next day, being Thursday, between ten and eleven

o'clock, and a room full of people being collected, I heard two per-

sons give a minute account of the enlivening and joyful influences

of the Holy Spirit on their own hearts. It was sweet to me, to see

others before me in their divine attainments, and to follow after

them to heaven. I thought I should rejoice to follow the negro

servants in the town to heaven. While I was thus listening, the

consideration of the blessed appearances there were of God's being

there with us, affected me so powerfully, that the joy and transport

of the preceding night were again renewed. After this, they sang

an hymn, which greatly moved me, especially the latter part of it,

which speaks of the ungratefulness of not having the praises of

Christ always on our tongues. Those last words of the hymn

seemed to fasten on my mind, and as I repeated them over, I felt

such intense love to Christ, and so much delight in praising him,

that I could hardly forbear leaping from my chair, and singing a-[186]

loud for joy and exultation. I continued thus extraordinarily mov-

ed until about one o'clock, when the people went away."

The Narrative of Sarah Pierpont Edwards, Fragment

ANTS, Edwards Collection, in JE’s hand. The corresponding passage is in Dwight ed., 1:183.

* at the same Time I thought of my being cast off by my nearest & dearest friends & thought if Mr Edwards should as I had thought before of Mr Edwards's cast Kicking me out of the House & finally casting <me off> now I put it to my self how I could bear from him the worst treatment of me at home the & thought that if he should take turn to be most cruel to me & should horsewhip me every day I would so rest <in> [-] God that It would not touch <my Heart> mo or diminish my Happiness my I could still go on in the Performance of all acts of duty to my Husband & my Happiness remain whole & undiminished